I want this

That is all..

The Judgement

One of my older poems.

Gloomy mists,confuse and supress.
Bright lights fading, kill and depress.
Nothing to hinder, as nothing will last.
I cannot move forward, it's mooring me fast.

How can you fight, what you can't see?
How can I kill, when the dead one is me.

Blackness is seeping, under my eyes,
Carrying with it, more chaos, more lies.
Sould branch swaying, over my head.
Body lays buried, as cold as hard lead.

No more love or trust, left here now.
Nothing to do, except humbly bow.
Shame is forgotten, but fear eats alive,
As the countdown begins, seven, six, five.

Oh, things to say, things to do!
As my countdown continues, four, three, two.
Hope lost, heart split, its almost done,
My eyes slowly close, as he counts down to one.

Sarah Jane <3

Waterfall

I wrote this book extract down many years ago - I cant remember what book it came from. It meant something to me at one point in my life so I thought I would put it in here.

When I was young, I used to sit at the base of a waterfall, on the Black River, just to watch the misty halo gleam.
The water had climbed as high as it could, and lingered in sparkling glory. Like my life, that halo was a place of eternal suspension - and how I prized that! Floating above was so much easier and cleaner.
Though the water was in fact blood, I could not see it. Those were not bones grating beneath my feet
, but rocks. No cries I heard, but wind in the trees. I couldn't see anything, except myself haloed in glory...
I took great care to sustain that halo, so that I could hide in the blinding brilliance. But no matter how I tried, I couldn't stay aloft. That brilliant, sparkling halo was cut from nothingness. It blinded me to the fact that I stood nowhere. I had nowhere to stand.
In my entire life, I had never built anything solid or lasting. If I had only known, dear god! I wish I could have seen myself for what I was.
Empty. Utterly and completely.
I did live suspended, but only for a brief moment. But when I fell, the sparkling halo became a whirl pool of tiny glinting knives. Spinning, and murderously beautiful, it cut me to pieces.
And I'm still falling. And afraid, terribly afraid, that I lived suspended for so long, there may be no bottom. Not for me.
My sentence may be to fall forever, my soul evaporating as I tumble through the emptiness.
Watching things go by. Reaching out. Never able to touch, or hold... or close my eyes.

Into The Wilderness Series

This has got to be one of the most powerful and amazing set of books I've ever read. I love the storyline and the era and the characters. Elizabeth Middleton is a fictional heroine of mine and her journies through the endless forests have inspired me in my own life. That doesnt mean I'll be packing up my job as a full time Receptionist and head into the bush, but her determination and strength of will help me solve some of my own small problems and difficulties in life. I'm currently in the middle of reading the whole set through for the third time - such an amazing story.

A few lines from the first few pages of Into the Wilderness:
December 1792 "Elizabeth Middleton, twenty-nine years old and unmarried, overly educated and excessively rational, knowing right from wrong and fancy from fact, woke in a nest of marten and fox pelts to the sight of an eagle circling overhead and saw at once that it could not be far to Paradise. All around her was a world of intense green and severe white mountains, a wilderness of deep and bountiful silence, magnificent beyond all imagining. This was not England, that was clear enough."

Love is a temporary madness

Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.
- Captain Corelli's Mandolin

I saw this quote a few years back and its always struck me as the simplest but most accurate description of Love I've ever heard.

The World's Best Chocolate Brownie Reciepe!

The brownie batter is based on the recipe found in Fannie Farmer’s classic American cookbook. In fact, brownies are an American creation; the earliest version of a brownie was made for the Columbian Exposition in 1893, after a wealthy chocolate-loving socialite asked a chef to create a dessert for ladies attending the Expo that would be smaller than a piece of cake, and could easily be eaten with the fingers from a boxed lunch. In the century that followed, brownies became a staple of American baking.

For the batter, you will need:

• 6 ounces unsweetened chocolate
• ¾ cup butter
• 4 eggs
• 2 tsp. vanilla
• Pinch of salt
• 2 ¾ cups sugar
• 1 ½ cups unbleached flour
• 1 ½ cups chopped walnuts (optional)

For the icing, you will need:

• 3 tbsp. butter
• ¼ cup cocoa powder
• 1 1/3 cups powdered sugar
• 2-3 tbsp. milk
• ½ tsp. vanilla

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 375. Prepare a 9x13 inch baking pan by buttering and lightly flouring it.
2. In a heavy-bottomed pan melt the chocolate and butter together over low heat, stirring constantly. Resist the temptation to raise the heat in order to melt the chocolate faster – dark chocolate can burn very quickly. When melted, remove from the heat and allow to cool slightly
3. In a large bowl, mix eggs, vanilla, salt and sugar, and beat well for several minutes until frothy and light in color. Add the chocolate mixture, stirring constantly, and then add flour, stirring only until blended. Add walnuts, if desire. Spread evenly in the pan and bake for only 25 minutes (the center will still be moist when you remove it from the oven).
4. While the brownies are cooling slightly, prepare the icing by melting the butter in a small saucepan over medium heat. Whisk in the cocoa powder and cook over medium heat, stirring constantly, until it just begins to boil. Remove from heat, pour the mixture into a mixing bowl, and allow it to cool for several minutes.
5. Add the powdered sugar alternately with the milk, beating after every addition. Blend in the vanilla, and continue beating until smooth. Smooth the icing evenly over the brownies, and refrigerate until the icing has set

Soo making these this week!

A bit about Sarah

I can be a little bit of a hermit at times. I'd be happy to spend a whole day locked up in my room with my books and laptop, but that's not to say I don't appreciate a family BBQ or the occasional night out in town. I love my family and friends and spending time with them keeps me sane. I guess I'm a bit of a chameleon, adapting to the situation's that present themselves, and enjoying them all.

I'm an average cook but I've been really getting into it lately, having bought my first pasta cookbook the other day. Maybe it will be the start of a lifelong passion? Or perhaps it will just be another thing to add to the long list of hobby's I have had and lost interest with in my life. It's good to try new things, so you can find out what you really have a passion for.

One interest I have now is Pottery, and I'm getting pretty good. Just last week I made my first mug and teapot - at this rate I'll never have to buy my own kitchenware again!

My greatest addiction is probably reading (though some who know me might say shopping comes as close). When you can get into a good book and let the words weave a web of magic that takes you away to a different time or place, when you can literally see the characters of the story brought to life in your minds eye and join them on their adventures and share their joy and sorrow, it is an amazing gift that a writer can give you. Real life can sometimes be a bit too much and It can get me down, but knowing I can pick up one of my favorite authors and be captivated and at peace after just a few pages is a relief.

Another stress relief in my life is my amazing boyfriend Cyris. Over two years together now and he still puts a smile on my face and can make me laugh. He's a Web Developer and the complete opposite to me, in love with everything old, history and my books, and Cyris with his talent on the computer, always interested in any new technology that comes along. I guess that's why we work so well, if you believe that saying "opposites attract".

Well that's enough about me for today, I'll be back when I have something interesting to write in here.